My happy married life
by delusaedisillusa
Summary: In which Robert's life and marriage take an unexpected turn


My marriage began seventeen years ago, as Jon Arryn, the man that had been like a father to me, convinced me that Cersei Lannister would have been the perfect wife.

Not only because of her beauty and grace and crap like that, but to unite the House Baratheon with the wealth of Casterly Rock.

Beautiful and gorgeous, Cersei shone as precious as the gold of her family.

I married her.

I couldn't have the woman I'd loved, and I took what life offered instead.

Life offered a lot of women, but you can only marry one.

I was naive and an idiot, but I can't change anything.

I can't even close my eyes while my wife and her twin are fucking on my bed.

"You was still inside me as you called her name. You destroyed our marriage during our first night" this is what my wife told me sometimes ago, I suppose she expected some sympathy, but she shouldn't have told me how she fucked her brother a few hours before she married me.

But Cersei never plays by the rules.

There she is, riding her brother with a passion she hasn't showed me in all the time we were together.

As she recalled our night her eyes were ablaze with fury, but she is still Tywin's golden girl, even if she is pregnant with her fourth child.

Another child who will have my name, fathered by Jaime Lannister, the sisterfucker.

My real marriage started seven months ago, coincidentally with the end of my old life.

There is a say "Bacchus, tobacco and Venus can destroy every man".

I drank too much, I smoked quite often and I fucked frequently without protection.

I gained weight and year after year I saw how my muscles became fat.

Dr. Pycelle would often try to put me on a diet or whatever.

I'm glad I had no idea I would end like this, no as I fucked Dr. Pycelle's young assistant I didn't imagine I would end in a bed impotent and defenseless like a child while a nurse is emptying my catheter. My cock is left without a purpose.

The mighty Robert Baratheon now a revolting ball of lard, a slavering ball of lard.

I've recognized the anguish and the pity in the eyes of friends and family.

Pain in Ned's, pity in Renly's, fury in Stannis.

The triumph in Cersei's.

The machines are keeping me alive, I can't speak, I can't make me understandable.

This is why Cersei let me live, to regale herself the delight of my suffering.

I don't know how much I've been in the hospital, weeks or months, I don't have any memories about the time I was in coma. As I started to understand the word I heard the most was 'miracle'. 'It's a miracle he survived the ictus' . My brain, the part of me some people even doubted I had, was badly damaged, but he continues to work.

I can't move or speak, but I understand everything.

No one seems to get it, but her, she knows.

Aren't the lionesses the hunters of the pride?

She was the one that told me about the time I spent in the hospital, the weeks or months were just ten days. In only ten days they transformed my room in a ultra modern, medical nightmare.

Ten days after I escaped hell, the hell came to me.

The twins decided to celebrate my return offering me show of them fucking.

"Darling it's not the first time we fucked with you in the same room, but it's the first time you are awake"

They looked so much alike as they grinned, vicious and triumphantly.

She was more vocal than the bastard, she moaned sweetly, he sucked on her nipple, massaging the other teat with enthusiasm.

"Today is special. For the first time you'll be there when we make a child"

I'm not an idiot, I mean I saw them fucking, but by the Gods, to think they had children!

If I could kill them, I would have.

But I could only watch.

Strangely she was now so more beautiful, the wicked witch.

And they made their love child.

Lyonel Baratheon, allegedly fathered a few days before my ictus, raised by his uncle Jaime, who adopted him.

"I have no children. I don't want to marry. Robert isn't able to be his father. Its Cersei's child, as Lannister as it would be mine'

Cersei loved to have sex under my nose, Jaime not so much. Very jealous the sick bastard.

Sometimes she would shoot some porns and show them to me. Those were for me. In those she behaved like a whore and screamed for her brother, how big and hard and virile he is.

Jaime, de facto lived with us, he showed Lyonel how to ride a bike, danced with Myrcella on her debut ball, went with Tommen skiing. Only Joffrey was immune to his charm and hated how Lyonel was more a Lannister than a Baratheon...

Never would I have thought that my children would avenge me.

My children, because Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen are Baratheon's. Lyonel, well he is a Lannister raised by Lannisters, but my children loves me.

It started with Joffrey. As a boy he had been a deepshit. I've played with him as he was a toddler and forgot him later.

I'm also a deepshit.

Well Joffrey almost died choking on a pie, he started to visit me more often and he would talk.

How he missed me, how he had wanted to make me proud, how he decided to change his life and to become worthy of the Baratheon's name.

Stannis would be his mentor.

He talked about businesses, citing Stannis the whole time, but slowly a name became more and more prominent.

Shireen.

Cersei's wrath was the most entertaining thing in my whole life.

She screamed and raged, even her lover boy wasn't immune to her fury.

He got to fuck her, but before, she slapped him hard and nagged so much, Jaime took Lyonel to a vacation.

Joffrey and Shireen married after eight months of engagement.

Not even a year later my first grandson was born.

Robert Baratheon.

Black hair, blue eyes, Lannisters features.

The Baratheon's line would live on.

I've never been a good father or brother or friend, but I showed Joffrey how not to be a father.

Joffrey became a better person and he decided to make wrong doings better. He decided it was time to make amend to the Starks.

"Mr. Stark is your best friend and I was a dick to Sansa"

My family and the Stark, friends again, and from friendship to love…

"My daughter will not marry one of those wildlings!"

As always spectacular, Cersei's monologues were a river of toxicity.

Myrcella married Robb Stark.

"Baratheons and Starks. I know you loved Robb's aunt, I know you wanted to tied our families. I'm happy to become a Stark, but I will always remain a furious doe, dad"

My daughter. Not by blood, but through love.

Her first son was named Steffon.

Tommen surprised me just as much as his siblings did.

I'll never understand how Jaime convinced her not to kill Margaery Tyrell. Yes the little rose was pregnant, but this wasn't reason enough for Cersei.

Tommen who had grown to be as tall as me, my eighteen years old boy, knocking a woman up.

I was proud of him.

His daughter, was named Cersei.

Cersei hadn't been amused.

I'd believed that Cersei must have casted a spell on me, I continue to live!

Eight years since Cersei and I started our true marriage.

After the disappointment with our children's marriage, Cersei started to focus on her youngest, Jaime adopted him and he will be his heir. When she isn't bitching about our children she seems to be quite happy with her life.

She is older, gained some weight, but she is still beautiful.

They don't fuck near me anymore it's more like she is married to her brother and I became her pet dog.

She wants for me to live, as long as I'm alive she doesn't have to fear to marry again.

Who would have thought that my marriage would have been this successful.


End file.
